Search found 674 matches

by Luke
23 Dec 2019, 12:02
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **An Autopsy and Counter-Ops
Replies: 1
Views: 37

Re: An Autopsy and Counter-Ops

So, this one isn't badly written at all, but I don't think it serves a lot of purpose. It doesn't really resolve anything going on in your arc right now, we don't learn any new information, and we kinda get a glimpse at one of the major inconsistencies with the character we've been reading about so ...
by Luke
22 Dec 2019, 05:53
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **Mis2ion: Project_Hades
Replies: 1
Views: 72

**Mis2ion: Project_Hades

[CHAT] Syhiver: -- '"I don't know how to go on without you..."' [CHAT] Syhiver: -- '"You'll manage. You always have."' [CHAT] Syhiver: -- '"I don't care about the mission anymore, Merreth."' [CHAT] Syhiver: -- '"...You told me once, a long time ago, that all this... this fighting, this chaos, this s...
by Luke
20 Dec 2019, 02:22
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **Miss1on: Olympus_Falls
Replies: 1
Views: 27

**Miss1on: Olympus_Falls

[CHAT] Syhiver: -- '[Planet -- Taldega IV, West Galaxy / 2nd Sol -- 1600 hours]' [CHAT] Syhiver: -- 'A sky of melted gold dripping into fetters of black, like egg yolks sliding down a chalkboard. A desert wind winding between the the great canyons that cleave the bone-white mountains beyond that are...
by Luke
18 Dec 2019, 19:44
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **The Secret
Replies: 1
Views: 32

Re: The Secret

This is such a good log. Obviously the ending with this unknown secret that Odin has been keeping for so long is just perfect. It's the best technique for this type of serial writing format because it begs the reader to wait on pins and needles to find out what it is that Yue saw and how it's going ...
by Luke
18 Dec 2019, 19:22
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **Fishing in Lake-Gin
Replies: 1
Views: 27

Re: Fishing in Lake-Gin

This is a great return to form. We get a lot of information in this log that is important, we get a great introduction to some of the minor characters and a few hints towards things to come. I really think you nailed it with this one. In particular this line right here is the most important sentence...
by Luke
16 Dec 2019, 10:46
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **Nobility: Cillia's Homecoming
Replies: 1
Views: 29

Re: **Nobility: Cillia's Homecoming

I'm really enjoying the mystery behind the creature in the mirror. I wasn't sure when we first saw it if it was an antagonist or if it was going to act as the guide / call to adventure, but it seems to be a combination of those things. You're doing well with building a framework around it and making...
by Luke
15 Dec 2019, 16:23
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **Looking for Funding
Replies: 1
Views: 30

Re: **Looking for Funding

Second verse, same as a the first. Similar to the last log, there are good ideas here, but this RP is really hurt by the many grammatical mistakes, typos, lack of punctuation, and the way it seems to be skimming over detailed storytelling in favor of serial content making. I kinda know the situation...
by Luke
13 Dec 2019, 10:44
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **A Simple Meeting
Replies: 2
Views: 30

Re: **A Simple Meeting

There are some ideas in this log that are really good, but they're very diamond in the rough. Just up front, I liked what you conceptualized here, the ideas were good, but there's a lot of spelling errors, very little detail given to the prose, and just a lot of heavy despair. The stand out scene is...
by Luke
12 Dec 2019, 01:20
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **A Favor for a Padre
Replies: 1
Views: 35

Re: A Favor for a Padre

The substance of this log is really about Lye confronting his past life and giving us a spotlight on both how hard it was for this character to walk away from it, and how easy it is to be drawn back in. I don't think this roleplay has the same 'heart' that the previous one-shots into life on the ran...
by Luke
12 Dec 2019, 00:35
Forum: Roleplay Logs
Topic: **Nobility: Bite Thy Tongue
Replies: 1
Views: 32

Re: Nobility: Bite Thy Tongue

Now this is an interesting opening for a new character on CHAT. I really like the ending. Very mysterious. It definitely leaves me with a lot of questions. What is this strange hand in the mirror? Why the sheet music? That's a very great way of letting the reader's mind run a little wild with the id...